NORTHWEST ARKANSAS (KFSM) -- A local Vietnam War veteran has struggled for decades, after years of war took its toll on his mind and body.
Now, he is wanting to raise awareness for a cause that hits close to home.
"You know when I get up in the morning, I don't know where I'm at sometimes, and it's the Agent Orange eating my brain," Veteran Leo Higdon said.
Higdon served in Vietnam in 1967-1968. He was a green beret in the U.S. Army and typically went on missions as a SCUBA-diver. He said what happened in Vietnam will stay with him forever.
"What really for me gets bad are the memories of watching buddies die in Vietnam," Higdon said. "We'd be out there by yourself sometimes and couldn't get any help, and you did what you could, but I wasn't a medic."
He said for him, the reaction from his experience was immediate. He said the moment he stepped on American soil at the airport, he was prepared to keep defending himself. Higdon said he brought a gun and ammunition with him.
"I went down and then I loaded up my weapon, and I was going to blow some people away because I didn't like what they were doing to the other vets coming back," Higdon said. "I was dead serious, and I walked for over a mile but no one messed with me so I didn't see that was going to be any good."
He said those memories drove him to get help in the form of a service dog and therapy. Higdon said he went to a Northwest Arkansas non-profit, Soldier On Service Dogs, for guidance.
"Twenty-six percent of suicides are veterans over the age of 60," program founder Angie Pratt said.
According to the Department of Veteran's Affairs, 22 veterans per day commit suicide. Pratt said those statistics aren't close to correct.
"It only includes 21 different states, so that means there are 29 states that are not included in the statistics," Pratt said. "Two of the states that are not included are Texas and New York, which are certainly two of the larger states with veterans' populations."
Higdon said for many of his fellow Vietnam soldiers, asking for professional help is the biggest challenge.
"It's not like we can leave it alone either, we don't talk about it, because we don't want to look like we're off our rocker or anything but it's there in every one of us, I guarantee it," Higdon said.
He said despite the medals he keeps in the trunk of his car at all times, and the bracelet woven in Vietnam's colors, it's still a struggle moving on from his past.